I bumped into Sarah Palin during one of her photo ops at the outlet mall.
I asked her where the bathroom was.
She wanted to know if I was Santa.
"Yes," I said, shrugging. "Guilty as charged."
"So how come you're not wearing your red coat and those shiny boot thingies?" She asked. Very classy.
I clamped my jaw. "Because I'm off duty."
"Huh?"
"I'm off duty." I rolled my eyes. "Listen, Queenie, if I'm not working, I not wearing the suit. You think I wear that suit year round? You have any idea what kind of rash I would have if I did that!"
What a nut!
Nobody around here is ever in costume during the off season. Rodriguez doesn't wear his little elf suit when he's trying to fit in on Rodeo Drive I can tell you that. And he never wears a hat. Never. Not even on Christmas Eve. He likes to keep his bald head exposed to the wind. Loves to dive headfirst into snowbanks. Says it's very sensual, like he would know.
Yes, as anyone can plainly see in that big picture at the top of the page, I have a turtleneck on. And it's not even red. During the off season - and let's face it guys- that's pretty much 364 days a year, I'm partial to turtlenecks - mocks - blue jeans, and desert boots. Light suede.
Put it on your list.
Yeah, that's an idea...put a couple of turtlenecks - mock - and a pair of desert boots on your Christmas list. I'll bring the "presents" to you Christmas Eve, and then come back for them Christmas afternoon.
Sound good?
So let's just keep that "pouting" crap stuffed and on the low-down for a couple of months, OK? Just until December. Until I get my stuff. After that, I don't care what you do.
You need to do the right thing here.
